About the idea of extra weight being somehow wrong

Last week Nicole and The Rotund wrote of their different experiences and perspectives that led them to start a weight loss diet very very early in life. Both either by family, friends or society’s ideas got a message that if you carry a bit of extra weight, that is wrong or abnormal and needs to be fixed.

I, sometime earlier this year, in this blog, not long ago, ended an entry being aghast at the idea of extra weight being wrong or bad. Largely based on the fact that when I was a child, many of my esteemed elders, had extra weight. It did not make them less loved or honored.

Then much more recently I mentioned that I prefer the one line plus size fashion stores that show their apparel on people. So here is some of my latest finds showing full figure fashion on plump ladies. As much to see how the outfit hangs, as to show: If this is fat, what is the problem!?!




And there’s a pair of matching pants to go with this halter vest. OK, I am a bit, (Yep. A bit and then some), heavier than the lady wearing this vest. But one thing I like about Baby Phat
plus size fashions is that they do make us heavier women look great!

What’s more to like, for a few days, till August 3rd, you can get an additional 25% off sale items till August 3rd. Though no cute and trendy plus size clothing seems to be on sale at the moment, shoes, handbags, and accessories are!

And you can get free shipping with a free key chain on any full price footwear order. And they do have sexy and trendy shoes! That offer is good till August 24th!!

A store I like for their swimwear actually apologizes when ever they have to show, for a short time, a swimsuit or full figure lingerie style, on a slender women. That’s AlwaysForMe.com
They make their own swimwear lines now too. Three swimwear lines actually. All based on years of customer feedback from plus size women, and research!

You can check out one of their best selling swimwear styles of last year’s updated version here. And those updates were based on customer feedback! It’s a kind of real form fitting mini swimdress. They have lots of more modest swimsuits for us shy ladies too.

Anyway, the point I’m making is even visually, larger people are beautiful. I’m going to get these pictures, and the like, baby phat is excellent for this, in front of my daughter often. Pretty, beautiful, sexy, trendy and fashionable are not just for the thin!

It may be a small effort, but might be well worth it. Kind of balance out the stylishly thin ladies she normally see on TV and in magazines.

A better thing to teach our children about weight issues

The Rotund’s reply tells me her mother’s fear of fat pushed her to unhealthy dieting. And later her peers added to the perspective of being large made her less worthy and abnormal.

How sad and crummy! Actually I got a bit of lip from my father when I returned from Texas much larger. But I was in my 20s by then and didn’t take it to heart. Well he never seemed thrilled with me about anything else I was or did. By then I was of the “so what” attitude with regard to pleasing my father.

But if that had happened when I was 6 or 7 I’d be devastated. I imagine children in general want to please their parents. I know, no matter what the issue, it hurt me when I couldn’t please him. Which was most of the time…..

As a parent I know that no matter what perspective I endorse at home, my daughter’s school, the media and her peers can do much to turn that around. Does not matter what the issue is.

At least we can make sure our children know we love them no matter what their size is. And we can arm them with knowledge!

Kids like to be as smart, if not smarter than, (you), their peers and even teachers. And they can be pretty savvy about money.

I’m going to advise my daughter, when weight issues are pushed at school by the administration, or her peers to know this:

On page 94 of my copy of Children and Teens Afraid to Eat: Helping Youth in Today's Weight-Obsessed World (Berg, Francie M. Afraid to Eat Series.) the Follow the Money section of the book is something a child approaching adolesecenc might want to know. Especially is taking verbal abuse about over weight issues is likely.

This section, nicely back up by references, as is the whole book, points out that obesity researchers, the diet and drug companies would loose a lot of money if the American public decided loosing weight is not important. They also fund the flawed studies that make weight loss seem like a physical necessity.

Children, they are smart, can see that:

If the companies selling the products that supposedly help you loose weight

Are the same companies are the ones providing the studies that insist you must loose weight for your health

Someone, a whole industry, is just trying to get your money!

Your child would much rather spend it on the latest, toy, CD, movie or what ever. And your child would rather you spend your money on the family vacation and not weight watchers!

And lets not forget that ourselves! Let’s be kind to our selves and let the weight loss industry go get a real job. While we go out and play to get healthy!

Thank you anonymous! And The Rotund, 7 Really, now I Am Terrified!

Dear Anonymous, yeah I get the feeling genetics play a real big, if not the entire part in being at or shifting one’s weight. I’ve seen it in myself and others.

At I can get in great tone by exercise. Yet other women, who really exercise more consistently than I, their bodies do not seem to respond much at all. I’ve seen my mother, maintain a Calista Flockhart shape, by perhaps walking the dog, keeping the house pleasant, and the occasional horse back ride and plenty of reading. She in no way ate small!

I’ve seen women eat like the tiniest of meals, low fat meals, while dieting, for months. And they did not loose weight. I switched to a lunch salad one summer, just felt like it. Seemed I did not loose any weight. And my salad dressing is a good strong squeeze of lemon juice.

Heredity many be all. Diets to loose weight don’t seem to be it. Exercise only works for some of us. Then again I’m speaking of my self, who thinks a well toned, energetic size 10 is perfect. I kind of get the feeling the General Public feels a size ten is a bit too heavy.

TO THE ROTUND

YIKES! Enlighten me! When, roughly, does puberty start? Diets to loose weight at age 7 are normal??? Actually my daughter started with the fat questions a few years ago, so I’m assuming, (GULP), that’s not puberty related…

Her fear of being a bad person because she hates the taste of most vegetables and fruit: That was this last school year. Direct result, so it seemed, of the school’s one week drive to get children to eat X many vegetables and Y many servings of fruit a day for a week.

Her concerns about me being on the large side, has been intermittent over many years now. Couldn’t be puberty related.

But can it be that she’s not interested in eating because of fear of fat. She may have a spare ounce. But I doubt it. Probably not. Pizza still rules! OK I’m still scared.

You really felt you needed to loose weight at 7? Did anyone ever mention all the years of still to grow you had in front of you at 7? Did you hide dieting from your parents? You mentioned diets you were put on. Had doctors failed to realize all that growing? And the sheer calories and nutrition, and rest, not stress, a body might prefer to do that with? Hey I’m in no way a doctor, or in any way medically trained but what is going on here?

Sorry. I’m aghast and confused. OK I’m in shock 7!?!
What’s the best way to explain the futility of this sort of dieting to a 7 year old?

Thank you and Best Wishes Nicole

My daughter is 7 now. You write you went on your first diet when you were 7. I realize the current assumption when one says diet is to loose weight. So I’ll take you to mean that. Were you dieting to loose weight at such a young age? While you had lots of growing to do? Were you compelled to loose weight by social situations, the media, friends, parents or doctors?

I got both inside and outside influence with regards to my weight.

As a child I was, forced by most baby sitters, to eat. I’m still a picky eater. So is my daughter. And I make sure no one forces her to eat anything. Well, doctor prescribed medication for the occasional aliment aside.

My Father, my mom left when I was 3, never forced anything. But when he caught sight of my actual size, or lack there of, he’d threaten to take me to the doctor to put me on a weight gaining diet. I got good at dressing loosely.

The first time I had any extra, as in perhaps too much, weight I had lived in Austin Texas. Where the cheap Mexican food and most excellent Texas bar-b-que is well worth changing your clothing size! Besides both the ice skating and swimming was cheap too!

I returned to New Jersey about a size 12, or perhaps it was 14 or 16. I did not care. Sadly I had the return of a stomach problem within a year of returning. I lost both lots of stomach lining and weight. I racked up loads of time writhing around in pain. If I ever hate anyone, I won’t be able to wish my stomach problem on them. One of the many non-recommended kinds of weight loss. It comes from simple stress, in my case.

After that, my take on food was and remains, if I can digest it, it’s good food! But I do endeavor to get my daughter and I to try to eat a few more vegetables a week…Maybe will get back around to the fruit food group someday too!

I feel real lucky my daughter is into ice hockey. Lots of padding! She selected this as a line of ice skating to pursue when I suggested skating lessons. If she selected figure skating courses, I’d be even more frightened than I am now at her “Am I fat?” queries!

I try to protect her from created food issues that all picky eaters face. In her case: other parents, even adults in her life with out children and her school all really try to force the eat this, eat that issue. I do not believe it helps.

I have even had to listen to another, non-parent adults, tell her she can’t have desert unless she cleans her dinner plate. I assured her it was not true. And, as quite often, she didn’t like the desert anyway. And she has also asked me if she is a bad person because she does not like fruit and very few vegetables!

One of the many things I like about the 2 Afraid to Eat books I keep links to in my right column is that they are filled with livable suggestions to healthy eating even a pair of picky eaters like my daughter and I can appreciate. Based on these books suggestions, I figure it’s my job to keep a variety of foods in front of us to try, or not. It’s also my job to keep the stressors away from her! Both those books have info on some of that. My experience as a life long picky eater supplies me with the rest!

If your child is a picky eater, and you are concerned, here is what I have found. Get them to play with their food! Have you child help you in the kitchen, and in the garden. Mud is a wonderful thing! Seeing plants grow is too! And cooking is basically fun!

I was never afraid of weight gain as I child. I was afraid of being forced to eat. I figure I ended up overweight due to lack of exercise.

I also consider if it took several years to get this overweight. It should take no less than a year or two to get back in shape. And I’ve been a sickly 95 pounds as an adult. As well as a robust, strong and healthy 130 pounds. I figure if I gradually work more exercise, and perhaps vegetables, in to a life long aim to feel great, the results will likely look pretty good too. I guess that’s a good thing to show a child too. Eat when you are hungry, play when you feel energetic, sleep when you are tired, if you can. The aim is to feel great.

Another reason to blog, any blogger might enjoy

Recently I signed up at Pay Per Post. I was intrigued by the concept of getting paid for what I write about anyway.

While any blogger might enjoy the idea of getting paid to post in their blog, you’d want to write about your normal blog’s concerns. I was concerned, upon signing up to find their current categories did not include any kind of women’s apparel, or size acceptance issues.

But I figured, not to worry. Eventually some one will require some blogger to write about plus size women’s clothing or size acceptance issue.

Then just today, just to see if there were any opportunities for me to write about I logged on and took a look.

Well payperpost considered Keepcash to be up my alley. And upon looking into it I found a wide variety of coupon codes regarding stores I refer to in my blog anyway. So then I was happy to write about that.

It seems it could pay to blog and to keep an open mind. At least till you check out the given opportunity! Today’s writing opportunity has stores I could look into for my readers here to see what they have to offer the plus size women. I know Amazon has books about size acceptance and full figure apparel. Soon I’ll find out if Banana Republic has plus size women’s fashions, or just really nice accessories!

Considering I’m just as apt to get ideas about what to look into next from the occasional blog comment. Or a remark about being fat from my very slender 7 year old leading me to explore size acceptance issues.

Pay Per Post is a win win website for me! Could be for any blogger!

Look good. Feel good. Save your money!

I believe I’ve mentioned here my desire to help us all save our money. Well here’s a website designed to do just that! It’s called Keepcash, and you can easily save your money using their daily updates coupon codes. On women’s clothing, books, music, toys, lots of things!

Click on this promo codes link. Then select coupons and you’ll find an alphabetical list of stores with saving codes. Or you can just type your favorite online store’s name into their search engine box!

I found variety of coupons for Bare Necessities. A store I happen to know has full figure bra and panties on sale now. One of my favorite plus size bras is at a ridiculously low price, as on discontinued color. Blush, a color I like! Now with one of Keepcash’s coupon codes this should be really good!

Keepcash, what a nice name, updates there coupon codes daily. So it’s well worth it to bookmark this site and come back before you buy much of anything. They have coupon codes for a wide variety of goods.

Just at a glance I see, with regards to plus size women’s wear, and mom concerns, they have coupons for Avenue, whose having a really great sale on plus size swimwear now, Alight, Amazon, Avon, several baby stores and Banana Republic, (great accessories!), Figleaves, FreshPair, lots of toy stores, as well as Disney…ok there is just so much!

Keepcash updates daily, so who knows what all will be available tomorrow. Some coupon codes have expiration dates, some don’t.

You can get their deals in your inbox too! It’s a great way to save you money. And saving money fits perfect and makes us all feel a whole lot better!

A new tool that makes sizing and shopping for plus size bras and jeans easier!

Thank you anonymous for your comment! Click on this Zafu and enjoy, perhaps, the shortest route to the best fitting full figure bras and plus size jeans! Unless you know exactly what you want already!

They do ask you a few questions about the bras and jeans you usually wear and some aspects of how they fit you. Also they ask what you’d like your bra or jeans to do for you fit and shaping wise.

Their plus size bras only go up to band size 40 and cup size DD/E. but if your are within, roughly, bra sizes up to that, this should be a handy tool.

With bras and jeans, plus size jeans starting at size 14W, they calculate your answers and provide you with a list of suggested bras, and / or jeans. You can even save your info! It’s pretty neat!

If your bra cup size is, or you suspect should be, larger than DD/E cup size, you might want to try what I did. It worked wonderfully and you can read about it here! You’ll also find 2 stores that will give you 10% off your full figure bra order!

I’ll continue trying to find and keep the current sales on plus size and full busted bras posted at the top of my intimates page. I will to the best of my ability. Because bras that fit me cost about $40 to $50! OUCH! So I pretty much have to keep track of those sales!

Updating you wardrobe made easy, beyond cheap plus size swimwear

Since I brought up the issue of feeling good at whatever size you happen to be, by dressing well….I must point out the summer sales. another way to feel good about yourself is to pay yourself by putting your money in savings! Rather than other stuff.

Right now you’ll find Summer clearance sales on, full figure bras, summer dresses and other apparel, as well as cheap plus size swimwear! As well as preseason sales!!

Maybe it’s the single mother perspective but I find drastically reduce prices make updating my wardrobe, not so easier, in my case, but possible!

Here are some fine examples: This baby phat vest, I did not wait to go on sale is now just $29.99! This vest is polished enough for work, if you can get away with denim. It’s still available in sizes 2XL and 3XL!




If you are waistline conscious, it eliminates muffin top, over your waist band! Hides bra straps of too too slender summer dresses and tank tops! Well it does all that for me!

Here’s a baby phat sale skirt to go with it! Just $29.99 and still available in all sizes 1XL to 3XL!




One reason I didn’t wait for it to go on sale is I waited for a Silhouettes’ denim vest to go on sale this fall. Recently I waited for a plaid cotton summer dress, made along the lines of this georgette one, to go on sale. Well both vest and dress went out of stock! I knew the baby phat vest was too much of a wardrobe stretcher to take the chance. What I found out, upon getting this vest is, it’s extremely well made, and I love the adjustable back buckle!

I had my doubts about the Silhouettes’ cotton dress I mentioned because:
A) My daughter, who loves plaid, didn’t take to it.
B) I have doubts about plaid being a real fine thing for us plus size ladies.

Now Silhouettes is coming out with more dresses for fall. I wish their summer print dresses came in solids too. Something that a couple of Avenue plus size dresses do. Come in prints and solids!

Right now both Avenue and Silhouettes’ have many of their summer dresses on sale! And here’s a sleeveless, shirred, crossover neckline dress, in solid salmon or black by Avenue. This dress is cut to make the most of many of us full figure women’s curves!

Oh and the other thing I like about many of these new and summer sale dresses. Easy wear and care. Just drop many of them into the wash!

Regards to wardrobe building: I read it some where in the last year. Either written by a French lady, or regarding how French women shop.

Shop often, buy infrequently.

Or words to that effect. It may be what I have to do, but I would still do that even if my budget permitted frequent buying. It’s just sensible, and you may miss a few things, but you make choices you feel real sure of.

Size acceptance and your wardrobe

One way to communicate to the people in your life and the general public that you accept your current size is to dress it right. Also a great way to make yourself comfy! Lets face it Camryn Manheim won’t look so great if she tried to stuff herself in to clothes built for a smaller woman, and neither would we. And if you watch Ghost Whisperer on Friday nights you can see this is one excellent way for us fuller figured women to dress!

But there are plenty of new styles for plus size women coming out every season. And you can find them with ease, from the comfort of your own home, at on line store who cater exclusively to us plus size women.

My favorites are the ones that show the clothing on women, rather than just laying there. Maybe I don’t visualize very well.

Over the last, 3 I believe, years I’ve assembled various groups of these online stores. I promote the plus size women’s clothing each store sells at 2 websites.

plus-size-swimwear-4-you and plus-size-women’s-clothing.

Maybe it’s because I’m a single mother, but I get real enthused about the sales. Currently if you go to the swimwear site, you’ll find a lot of swimsuits can be had at Always for Me’s store, at half price!

Actually I’m so enthused about this I’ve heavily posted it at both sites. Lots of Always for Me’s own swimsuits are on sale at half price too. Their swimwear is already inexpensive to begin with!

I wish I could wear Always for Me swimwear. But my best fitting bra has HH cups. Well I’m just a bit too top heavy. I wear the Fantasie swimwear, so far, haven’t tried the Freya bra sized swim wear styles yet.

Most stores at the swimwear site are having bathing suit sales now too. But for the not too full busted….oh well

The point I was trying to make earlier on is that if you dress yourself in good fitting clothing that makes you look and feel great:

A) You’ll feel better physically and emotionally

B) Assuming your reading this because you are among us larger women, you’ll make plus size people look better to the world at large.

C) So that, as in my case, my daughter, You'll be helping her and other youngsters see us large people as people and not problems weight loss commercials make us out to be. She’s never seen me diet to loose weight, try to fit into a size 10, or wish I was thinner. She still scared me occasionally by asking me if she is fat. But at least I know she’s not getting undue attention about people size or weight presented to her at home, or from me.

D) My friend Helene pointed out to me years ago, when you are dressed your best you do not attract attention of those men who wolf whistle, leer or other wise act crummy or say nasty things to women on the street. Over the years, even I, who have an easy time dressing for comfort, and a hard time dressing to please the eye, have noticed, SHE’S RIGHT!